LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS
Starring Matthew Horne, James Corden and MyAnna Buring
Directed by Phil Claydon
Written by Stewart Williams and Paul Huppfield
Alliance Home Entertainment
British horror comedy Lesbian Vampire Killers has the misfortune to follow in the footsteps of another British horror comedy, Shaun of the Dead. You may have heard of it. By comparison, LVK is less funny and less horrific. But it does have more vampire lesbians, and that’s a plus.
To the plot. Jimmy (Horne) has been dumped by Judy (Lucy Gaskell) for the seventh time. His best bud Fletch (Corden) has been fired from his job as a clown. The down-and-out duo decide a vacation is in order. But they can’t afford Ibiza so the throw of a dart sends them to the tiny village of Cragwich. Too bad Cragwich was cursed centuries ago by the vampire queen Carmilla: to wit, all the daughters of the village become lesbian vampires on their 18th birthday, and Carmilla herself will be resurrected when the blood of the last descendant of her killer’s bloodline is mixed with that of a virgin. Jimmy is the descendant; Lotte (MyAnna Buring: The Descent) is the virgin, one of a quartet of hot history students who have come to Cragwich to study the Carmilla legend… and party of course.
The plot from there should be pretty obvious, but director Phil Claydon manages to keep the proceedings zipping along at a swift enough pace to forgive the screenplay’s hit-and-miss comedy and rather naff plotting. What makes LVK more than bearable is the genuine chemistry between (and talent of) leads Horne and Corden as, respectively, the milquetoast but well-meaning Jimmy and the loveable loser Fletch. They’re no Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, but leaving aside those perhaps unfair comparisons, we wouldn’t mind seeing a sequel, a possibility to which the ending rather cleverly alludes.
But what about the blood, boobs and babes? Well, for a movie with a title like that, Lesbian Vampire Killers is far classier than one might reasonably expect. The nudity is subdued and only mildly gratuitous, while the lesbianism amounts to the kind of flirtatiousness girls indulge in at clubs to tease boys. There is a lot of bodily fluids, but vampire blood looks a lot like jizz in this film. There is also a mild streak of misogyny running through LVK which is offset by the humour, but every woman in LVK) is either a bitch (Judy), a tease (the vampires) or a virgin (Lotte). Not overly cool.
Still, LVK is relatively inoffensive and the charms of its cast make for easy Sunday afternoon viewing, although its nods to horror comedies past (Shaun and An American Werewolf in London most notably) is a risky gambit for a movie not nearly in that league. Not exactly bloodless, Lesbian Vampire Killers could have bared its fangs just a bit more than it does.
Lesbian Vampire Killers is available on DVD and Blu-ray May 11.